Sometimes you just don't know...

I gotta tell ya, I am certainly in the Christmas spirit but there seems to be the same thing missing this year that's been missing for many years.  Now, I'm pretty use to it by now but why should I be?  I really do think this year has been more difficult because I really did try my best and it wasn't even close to being enough; I really don't think it will ever be enough.

I have always thought I was good enough and people tell me I am all of the time but you just have to think about it for a second; if everyone tells you that you are thin but when you get on the scale you see it hit 500lbs...you know you aren't thin.  It's nice that everyone says you are but really, you're not...and apparently, neither am I-obviously I am not talking about weight, I am talking about self-worth and I am just not worth enough.

People keep telling me; "One day Jason, one day...." and they are just being polite and it's ok.  I just think that if lightning did strike twice, you should at least be ready for it the second time around but my 'One day' isn't going to come anytime soon...I am sure of that now.  It's a very sobering experience when someone has to give you a comment in plain English about nothing pertaining to anything at the moment simply in order to curb your thoughts.  Well, no one needs to worry about that any longer...I always knew I was better off just being that safe guy and that is what I'll be from now on.  It's funny how I can invest so much into such a chance but hate to gamble money...weird.

Anyway- tomorrow, more artwork.
Love and miss you all my friends... equally-
-SLiDE->

Christmas Magic-

...And here's a little Christmas Magic to get you through the season.  There's magic everywhere, you have to believe there is...I do.

-I miss you all, more than you know (especially you-and I'm sorry again)
-jason

A Christmas Wish...

At Christmas time everybody makes wishes...I think it's important to have wishes, especially during Christmas - even I have wishes.  I'd love to say more but I am afraid I just can't but what I can do is share a wish with you; Merry Christmas ~ May all of your wishes come true.

Johnny, Kevin and Shakespeare

Here's a new one; enjoy!

Remembering...

I Love drawing Kevin and Johnny because I can get them to express anything, anytime and for no particular reason at all but this time, they kinda told me what to do...like I have always said; I only draw the lines, the picture was already there.

...and to all of you, I love you and miss you very much...especially you.
-me

It's Snowing Outside...

...So I thought I'd continue the theme; here is my classic take on Mr. Snowman...

-Christmas really is what you make it; if you say Christmas is too comercialized, then sadly...it is.
But if you just look at what Christmas should be or what you want it to be...instead of the way
everyone else portrays it then I promise you-Christmas will be perfect.

...Love is all you need around Christmas Time - have fun with the ones that really love you.

-me

Let It Snow!

I love it when it snows...and to comemmorate the first really good snowfall in Chicago
-Here is a little simple piece of artwork that has a classic feel to it.


-Love you all-especially you.

For the Fun of it...

I love making Johnny do the silliest things...

'Kevin and Johnny' -Christmas Together

I know you have all been waiting for something new - So here's Kevin and Johnny making sure you remember the best way to spend your Christmas.

I love you all, especially you.
-jason

And to get you in the mood...

Here's a simple piece to get you in the mood...and it's true; All I want for Christmas is you...

The Image is large-to download: click on image, right click and save to desktop or wherever so you can print or enjoy.

i love.

"No matter what ever happens, I love; no matter how much time passes and what you might think, no matter the miles or reasons or seasons between, no matter what might happen or what eventually will, remember 'I love' and that will always be real." -me

The one single important thing to remember is that I will always mean what I say; forever.

So, this 'Special BLK' release blog will be changing into a complete Artwork Release site for all of my artwork, right after Thanksgiving beginning with all of the Christmas stuff.  I know you'll like it...they look great to me.

Thank you all, Happy Thanksgiving if I don't see you and I love you and miss you very much...

...especially you-especially since you don't even think it's you.

-me

Update!

It's almost time for me to begin to share the Christmas designs with you but first I might try and squeeze in a short series of artwork I have had on the back burner for a while now; there is just one problem with it all - it's kind of not a nice bunch of artwork...and being so close to the Holidays I have been back and forth about if I should release it or wait until the New Year.  Well, I am sure I will figure it out soon; I have 3 days left before the 'Special BLK Series' is completely released all over the web and I will have about a week before Thanksgiving to fit some 'other' artwork in.  I know I will at least release the notes on it and at least one 'preview' piece entitled "Love in White" from the new upcoming 'Fierce Series' and I guess we will see how that goes.  Until then, have a great day-I love you all-and I miss you very much...
(especially you)

-jason

Special BLK; #'s 0, 1, 12 and 40

Here they are; the last four (4) pieces of artwork for the 'Special BLK Series' and I just want to make sure I thanked everyone again for being a part of this.  You know, as I was doing these I was reminded of how important everyone was to me; I mean that this gave me the chance to sit there and really think about what someone might have done to impact my life and you get a real sense of worth from doing that.  I have always used my friends and loved ones as inspiration, I mean after all, why else would I even do anymore artwork...I do them so you might enjoy them-nothing more than that.  I have corporate jobs to keep money coming in but I'd stop doing the 'fun stuff' if I thought you didn't care to see it.  I do everything for love in some way shape or form; I love to draw, I love making people happy, for the people I love, to find love...there are all sorts of reasons but this is at it's most basic.

I just want you all to think the next time you get a chance; take a minute and really think about why you are here and what kind of impact someone made on you.  Really think about it and then tell them thank you; tell them you love them completely and make sure they know because one day you might just wake up alone with no one to thank and you will want to go back and you can't.  I have been there; I know that I have always had all of you whenever I need to but everyone needs someone to love and if you don't tell them while you have the chance to...well, I just don't want you to find yourself alone like me.

Special BLK

These are for all of you-
Thank you again, I love you all...especially you.
-jason

Special BLK; #'s 42-48

Here they are...and only four (4) more to go tomorrow.  Thank you all again, you are all the reason I am as popular an artist as I am.  I have print orders in my Email Inbox for around 60 prints...so I am thinking that I might do a limited edition set of lithos or what not.  If enough people want them then I guess it's worth it for me to start the presses.  On picasa I have not had that many hits because I am only releasing them to you first but offsite I have been releasing them slowly (I am up to number 8 presently) and the feedback has been very good. I believe that I have about 5,480 hits (compared to about 200 hits for the entire series here for Facebook only) which is pretty good considering I have only released seven pieces of artwork so far.

Special BLK

Thank you all for making this a success-I love you all.
-especially you.
-from me.

Special BLK; #'s 16, 33-39, 41

Hello everyone, here are nine more and by 6pm tonight you should have all but four (4) of them released.  You will not have numbers '0', '1', '12' and '40' until Sat.  I have had too many sleepless nights to worry about what happens next with my life beyond drawing a bunch of pictures so that's all I am going to do for the foreseeable future...it just doesn't seem worth it; there's always someone better than you are...it's always greener on the other side of the fence and I am won't compete with Astroturf and scented candles.

I hope you have all enjoyed everything so far - I should be on my way to LA soon to chat with some important people and then I can begin to map out a schedule for Christmas Artwork as well as getting around to see everyone.

Special BLK

I Love you and miss you all-

-Especially you...seriously...

-jason

Special BLK; #'s 17-32

I'm not going to wax poetic about anything here, it's just not worth it anymore-I know it falls on deaf ears and there is nothing I can do about that but there's still artwork to look at and a series to finish releasing and to all of you who have been eagerly waiting for more...here they are.  I am sorry it has been so long but the artwork that pays the bills first, then the fun stuff.

I love you all and I hope you all had a fun and safe Halloween.

Special BLK-

*Remember; all the artwork can be downloaded and enjoyed how ever you like.
**Remember, remember; things change all of the time...everything but me; it's never too late.

***Anyone looking for the list - October 15th it was posted; just look at the old post-thnx.

Unconditional

Everyone always tells me; “Jason, why don’t you ever do anything that makes you happy?  You deserve to be happy.  You should tell everyone to fuck off and just do whatever makes you happy; you owe that to yourself.  You are such a great guy; everyone needs a ‘Jason’ in their lives…go be happy.”  And the kicker is that they say that until they know that the only thing that would make me happy has something to do with them…then the story changes.  Everything is conditional…it’s always conditional…at least everything is except for me, I can’t be conditional or compromising for anyone, I just need to be available.  I really don’t mind, in fact I enjoy being useful; it’s almost like being loved and I really want to be loved – it’s funny because really that’s the only thing I want.  I can draw anything.  I can design anything.  I can make the impossible happen…usually from nothing.  I can do all of these things and I would give them all up tomorrow if I thought it would help…but it won’t because that’s why people keep me around.  It’s who I am and that is perfectly fine – there is nothing wrong with being needed for one thing or another; for convenience or not; for love or something pretty close to it…it’s all the same.  I only know what unconditional love is because it is what I give.  No matter what anyone ever does or did, the love I have for everyone is without conditions…period.  It’s not what you do, it’s why you do it…just remember that the next time you make an excuse that the other person could care less about.  Sometimes people just want to talk to you without a reason or cause.  Sometimes people need to open up their minds to the possibilities.  Sometimes people should remember that you are never completely ready for anything so you should just jump anyway; if you broke a bone falling then at least you did something for doing it…for the adventure – waiting for adventures to happen would be fine if you still used the time in-between to live instead of waiting.

Love is...

"Well, this is what he told me; there was this really cute girl, see? She used to go for rides with him in his car. And whenever he'd call for her, he would always hold open the car door for her. After she got in and he had closed the door, he'd walk around the back of the car to the driver's side, but before he could get there, she would reach over and press the button, locking him out. Then she'd just sit there and wrinkle her nose and grin at him. That's what I think love is." -Charlie Brown

Believe...

My views of people will never change; I have a habit of only being able to see the best in people (even after I just got done being on the short end) and that will never change.  If I have said something once, I had meant it; no matter if it were five minutes or 20 years ago-I still mean it to this day but that's not what this is about...this is about me.


I have always had inspiration follow me in many ways and for that, I am very grateful.  I have also tried my best to express outwardly to the specific people who had ignited the spark to inspire with a nod to them if they so desired.  Sometimes parts of me just crumble away if I'd put something into a piece for someone and they couldn't care less...well everyone cares I like to think but I rarely hear about it and that's fine too.  I guess for once I wish I could just win...just once.  But that may be impossible; after all, I did kind of banish myself to this fate a very long time ago...so I only have myself to blame.


But just in case...


“I can’t give you moon and the stars in the sky or the feeling that I get; the twinkle in my eye…so just take my heart, it’s my most precious gift; and know that I love you; you’re the piece that it’s missed. .”  - Jason Marshall

“Believe” 

Somewhere this side of Forever

I had a reason to believe.

To believe in someone so unbelievable

Someone who really did believe in me.

Then she was gone.

She promised she’d come back again

I didn’t think it was best for her

But she insisted, so I did believe.

I often wonder what might have happened

If I had never met that Angel

But I never tried to come up with an answer.

I just believe.

Somewhere this side of Forever Again

Is not as it seems

But you will find happiness here just like me…

If you believe.

...especially you.

The Truth...

I do...and I always did and I wish I knew what to do next because I don't have a clue.

Yes.

-from me.

Special BLK; #'s 10,11,13-15

This will be the last releases until tomorrow night...I hope you enjoy them and I wonder if any of you know yet...

...But it's early in the release, there's a long way to go.

please believe...nothing has changed...I still mean every word.
Special BLK

Special BLK; Introduction and #'s 2-9

Special BLK intro-

You know, its tuff when people stop believing in you; when they stop having faith in you.  It’s even harder to know that your best just isn’t good enough and I have always tried to do my best even though I have fallen short on many things but I will always continue to try and make things right because I really do believe that I can and will do better.  I have to wake up with ideas; I have to believe that my best is yet to come or else I would have decided a long time ago to give it all up for a normal life.  It’s important that you love what you do…if you loved it once, there’s a good chance you still do but you have simply forgotten why.

Now, as I sit here writing this introduction to a series of artwork that took way too much time to complete and is (I believe) far too complicated to entirely understand, I can take pride in the fact that if nothing else it will show you all that you mean something to me.  See, without all of you I have little reason to do these things-I’d just stick with my corporate design jobs and make money and that would be that but you’re here for one reason or another; you stuck around…so I figure I can too.

I have always said that I would be happy for the rest of my life if all I had to my name was a working pencil and people who loved me; people who cared…and possibly someone to love myself and I really do believe that.  Beyond everything; beyond your positive comments and your much-appreciated critiques of my work, the only thing I really want is a smile.  I hope everyone who looks at anything I have ever done; written words or some crooked lines on a page, I hope it brings you a smile because while I am creating whatever it is that you happen to see…I was smiling.

It is important to me that everyone knows about why I do what I do; to me, it’s not enough to just pump out hundreds of pieces of artwork designed to create some kind of reaction that is not genuine.  I need to know that at least an attempt is made to show you that behind every line I lay down is a reaction to something.  Be it love or pain; one emotion or another drawn from some inspiration I received for one reason or another from someone special.  It’s not what you do in life, it’s why you do it that’s important and that is why I am going to clear something up right now that some or most of you will not understand one bit but that shouldn’t surprise you…I talk in circles anyway.

I have used artwork in the past to convey a message; sometimes heavily diluted and over emphasized but a message nonetheless.  This is no exception.  Beyond the individual messages to everyone on every piece, I need to clarify that there is one very important message to one important person throughout the entire series.  This message is very simple; it is just a message like the others, it states that no matter what happens or how much time has passed or how many miles are between us…I still mean what I have said before, every word of it.  I am terrible at most things and especially with understanding what to do and when to do it; I don’t take hints and I certainly don’t understand when I should zig instead of zag but what I do understand is how I feel and how important it is to me that you know it.  For everyone out there that has no clue what I am saying…don’t worry, I am pretty sure no one does and it’s ok.  I just know that there is a chance that the single greatest person I have ever met in my entire life might just be reading this and you all know that that is no small feat, I have met some great people in this life.  I suppose I just need to say that amazing just doesn’t go away…it doesn’t wear off, I just don’t quite know what to do with it.  It’s kind of like a drug that once you have taken it, you want more and after a while you start thinking that it can’t be good for you; that it will only end painfully. But in the end, after some time passes you might realize that chocolate won’t kill you, it will just make you happy if you had some.

So now that I have completely confused the whole of the world or at least this little piece of it and the last paragraph you read has made you want to run out and buy some heavy blunt object to persuade me to stick to the artwork and forgo the typing when you see me next, let’s get on with the rest.

Believe in whatever it is you believe in and love whomever it is that you love but do it consistently; not just sometimes, all of the time and smile while you do it.  That is the secret to everything.  Everything you see here in this ‘Special BLK Series’ of artwork has come straight from my heart.  I like to think of these (48+1) pieces of artwork as if they were what the songs that played in my head look like when I thought about you.  Sure, it’s abstract and there’s no correct way to truly and completely capture everything about you with a picture; no way to truly do you justice but like I said, this is the best way I know how to.  I do hope you all enjoy them all.

I really do love you all; especially you.

Special BLK

Sweetest Day

Happy Sweetest Day! Download this Special Edition 'BLK' Desktop Wallpaper done exclusively for nbcam.org - only available for a limited time to promote Breast Cancer Awareness, From me to you...I love you all.

More to come...

Reasons for Numbers

The 'Special BLK Series' of artwork has many purposes; Originally, with the first 'November BLK Series' I wanted to do a series of designs that people could relate to, with beautiful colors and sayings on them that even people that didn't know about them could use for their computer desktop...by putting someone's name on them, others wouldn't want to use them.

This series is very special; it took me much longer to complete - I would never have been able to do what I did to the previous series because of the complexity of it all.  I put much more time and care into each line and each phrase and believe it or not, it's all because of one particular person that I even attempted it.  One day I hope I will be able to thank her properly; it's all about being inspired and you may be able to understand once the series is released.

I hope you all understand why it is important that they all have numbers instead of names on them; I just wanted them to be just as universal as all of my other artwork.

Thank you;  Be safe and I miss you all...especially you.

To clarify the series...

“Special BLK”

In November of 2007 I decided to undertake a project I thought would be fun…in reality it was incredibly difficult as it went on. I decided to complete one piece of artwork for everyday in November…one piece a day for 30 days and if that wasn’t enough, I singled out 32 specific people to focus on within each piece; one for each of 28 and four for one of them. I chose to do them because they have touched my life in a way that I couldn’t begin to explain. So as a thank you and an I love you and miss you I immortalized these amazing people in my art. They will always have a special place but I felt like I could have just kept going with them because there are many more than 30 people in my life that mean something more…but I had to move on to other projects.

Now, I had no idea how big it would get but to my surprise it took on a life of it’s own and I was getting web requests from many sites to feature the artwork and my email inbox was bombarded with hundreds of comments and requests a day. It was well worth it.

But now as I sit here in 2009 looking at these 30 pieces of artwork and how much fuss everyone made of them, I got to thinking about how I could out do myself. How could I make something even more special than I already have? What could I do to make something even bigger, more complicated and on an even grander scale than I already have? At least now I would have a chance to give everyone that I missed in the first series a proper tip of my hat. But I still had no idea how to even accomplish that until I stumbled upon this one very special person who showed me that even in the absence of light…there is the possibility of a rainbow.

And this is how…

If you are reading this, you were probably tagged…if you were tagged it means that you or a family member of yours appears on a list below. The names on the list below belong to one of the 49 pieces of artwork in the ‘Special BLK Series’ numbered 0 thru 48. Each one will be released in true High Definition. The names on the list are not in any particular order that corresponds with the numbered series or I AM NOT TELLING ANY OF YOU WHOSE ARTWOK IS WHO’S. So pay attention, because when they are released from now until the beginning of November you will have seen them all. Hidden in each of them there are puzzles that bring the entire series together ending with the #0 piece. In this case, the sum is greater than all of it’s parts and a complete image of the entire series will create a large poster…not just a checklist like you are use to seeing.

At the time I am writing this, there is no telling if I can actually pull it off but if I can you will find out exactly why I even attempted it. After the series is completely released, I will give everyone the keys to the puzzle and your artwork so you might enjoy it for what it really is.

The ‘Special BLK’ Series is for you and it means that you have touched my life in some way that I could not begin to explain…and so, through these lines and images I may say thank you, I love you and miss you. From before I ever picked up a pencil for the first time, through the November BLK and Special BLK Series’ and until the day I can no longer hold that pencil, you have all given me love and insight and laughs and friendship and time than I could have ever hoped for. You have forever touched my soul and changed my spirit for the better. You have given me a reason to continue on, you have been my biggest fans and my greatest critics. You have let me into your families and be an Uncle to your children and you have picked me up off of the ground after my greatest defeats. You have understood my ramblings and outbursts when I never even gave you an explanation for them. You have stood by me when I gave you every reason not to and even reasons to rethink why you wasted the time to. I am not an easy person to understand, I have never let any one person know everything…but you have never complained or asked for more than I could give. I have been mysterious at times, never giving a straight answer and you were the ones who wanted to figure them out. I love you all and I miss you more and more everyday…I just hope this little collection of artwork is enough to say that. I hope that when you look at them you will hear me talking to you; because I heard you talking to me when I did them. I just wanted you to know that even though I do not see you everyday, you still mean the world to me.
…Especially you.

A Little Something to Believe In

Just something that will go along with the new artwork as it's being released.
*I wrote this after I woke up in the middle of the night -3:28am- and this exact thing was what ran through my mind; I know who I was thinking of when I woke up but that's another story...

“For You” by Jason Marshall

The sun rises with brilliance every morning
Only hoping to keep you happy and warm

The wind blows cool with purpose
Only hoping it may touch your face

The stars hang high in the heavens
Only hoping to catch a glimpse of you

The rain falls from the clouds above
Only hoping to see you dance among the drops

The rainbow shines wide and bright
Only hoping to impress you with its colors.

The moon follows you through the night
Only hoping you will feel less alone

And the artist draws because your beauty moves him to
Only hoping that you might know it was all for you.

-fin-

Special BLK: Fractional Addendums (25 pre-releases for the Special BLK Series)

***you are welcome to share this link with anyone you like***
Ok, I am sorry about how late everything is...I have so much New Artwork to post but I am fighting with AOL/Time Warner for the releases...don't worry, today I told then to figure it out by Thursday or I was releasing them anyway and they could keep their money.

Anyway, until then...I have something to calm your appetites...

If you are tagged, you have artwork...keep reading...

See, My Special BLK Series has a total of 49 pieces in it and in order for me to get down to 49 (#'s: 0-48) I had to cut a lot. Unfortunately, I hate to let good ideas go to waste-so, the first artwork cut from the series belonged to many people that I originally had in the 'November BLK Series' - so because there is no agreement with stupid AOL about all of the pieces I have deemed worthy to bring back from the dead...

...I am proud to present the "Special BLK Series: Fractional Addendums" - these encompass some of my favorite artwork and ideas...they were not afterthoughts, they were actually some of the first pieces I created almost 5 months ago.

There are a total of 25 pieces in the 'fractions' set and here they are- (all 25 so far released now in full HD using the link)

Complete List:

Corrynn
Daina Welsh
Karin
Roy
Lori
Jinx
Shari Croom-Kroll
Justin
Chris Watkins
Andrea Miller
Jamie Lynn Nesnidal
John Marshall
Kris Carlisi
Trish
Natalie Ledet
Melissa
Kayleigh
Heather
Cheryl Cerny
Kenny
Patrick O'Neil
Emily Carlisi
Michelle
Amanda

Nicole

***some of the people on this list I (unfortunately) cannot contact; please feel free to send them the link.

CLICK THE LINK BELOW to see the artwork and to download it for your desktop and printing pleasures.

Fractional Addendums


You will notice a slight difference in these pieces...I have actually put people's names on them...trust me, these 24 'fractions' will be the only ones I do that for...the rest you will have to figure out for yourself.

PS-there is nothing hidden in any of these...lol.

Welcome to the "Special BLK" Release Blog

Because this release is so large, I thought it would be best to put up a blog for it. It's easier to link to this than Facebook or anything else...so you will be able to see any artwork and any subsiquent information related to it's release here.

Fun Facts:

*It took over 230 individual pieces of artwork to complete this series and all of the drawings basically had to be destroyed before I achieved the final product(s)
*this will be the final BLK series ever

*There are things hidden in the artwork

*Some hidden items have to be decoded

*There are four (4) 'keys'

*Some hidden items are not visible

*When you put all of the artwork together correctly, you will find things

*The development process took more than 5 months

*There are 'written' releases associated with the artwork as a whole

*All artwork is produced in High Definition 1920x1200 for viewing on television or HD monitors.

*Working file sizes exceeded 6GB at any given time

Ok, Just like my 'November BLK Series' this is how this works; if your name appears on this list-you have a piece of artwork...the catch; they are not labeled. That is to say, you will not know which belong to you...and I am not going to tell you-good luck with that.

All of these pieces of artwork have things hidden in them, together and separately. I have no clue if anyone will ever find everything with them...but it's nice to think that someone might.

This is just the list of people who have a corresponding piece of artwork numbered from 0 to 48 (in no particular order) totaling 49 pieces. The first few pieces will be released later tonight. I love you all-and good luck.

Special BLK List

40 Jennifer Cherry

19 Michael Spadafore

33 Bonnie Kenndell

17 Lyle Willimann

09 Adam Hauger

35 Amie Welsh

39 Andrew Kroll

43 Theresa Ceurvorst

10 Casey Christie

14 Brian Gandy

05 Chad Duffin

03 Barry Murphy

47 Chris Blackburn

48 Christopher Marshall

46 Codi Johnson

23 Daniel Woo

32 Dave Claycombe

11 David Marshall

18 Maria Claycombe

28 Steve White

01 Dina White

21 Eduardo Barrios

34 Ian Wadycki

16 Jackie Mann Goodman

15 Jacqui LeVan

29 Jamie Van Houten

41 Jeff Pierce

24 Jim Kenneavy

36 Jodi Barrios

04 Katherine Danielle Despain

02 Kevin Harvey

00 Kris Rosy

06 Lee Springer

31 Mark Brzezicki

26 Mark Koykar

08 Mary Rail

30 Mayfair Ainsley Wells

44 Michael Tuma

07 Michelle Bearden

22 Nick J. Alonzo

27 Pamela Schall

42 Richard Chaney

45 Ryan Marshall

12 Smuz Marshall

37 Susana Ratulowski

25 Tamika Walker

38 Taylor Spizzirri

13 Victor Linares

20 Zack Nosal

Thank you, there will be more to come later-