"I's Easy"
Life is not easy; it’s not easy for anyone…not for me, not for you. It’s made to be challenging…life is messy, full of mistakes and hurdles that you can’t always overcome. I have had my share over the years and it never gets easier and you can’t outrun the past and you can’t forget what you’ve done and you just hope that one day you might get the chance to make it all up…to have the chance to do it the right way and to make right from what you have once done wrong. Well, at least I hope I might get that chance.
I have been told that I’m not an artist on many occasions.
I have been told that I’m nothing more than a hack.
I have been told that my best work is nothing more than a bunch of poorly fabricated crap that only marginally passes for artwork in the same way baseball cards do.
I have been called a cheat.
I have been called a thief of ideas.
I have been called a fake.
I have been called a horrible person for saying those things that are difficult to say; where stronger men would stand tall and stay quiet, I sat and spoke and I am horrible for it.
I have been called a sap.
I have been told that I just don't know what I am talking about.
I have been called many bad things and each time I hear them, I wonder just a little bit deeper if they might be right, even just a little bit.
I know who I am and I am fine with it; I love the man I have become. I feel that I have a deeper understanding of things because of the criticism I take but yet, I am constantly trying to grow and try harder, to be better, to find ways to silence my critics, to find love in the places where I have found none and to prove my worth and integrity to some who find it difficult to understand why I would and why it’s important for me to do so.
I have been told that my ideals are worthless.
I have been told that my theories on life are flawed.
I have been scrutinized by my peers for simply not knowing the real truth about things when I believe that open-mindedness begins with understanding what you hate the most about something.
I have been called worthless and stupid.
I have been called silly and insane.
I have been called a liar about things because I am different in the way I think.
I have been told that I just fall short of expectations.
I have been told that I am simply not good enough.
I have also been told that I was too good, which is just another way of saying that I wasn't good enough; it just means that they don't want you-no matter what.
I have been told that the world is not what I see it to be and that my reality is nothing but false.
And possibly what hurts the most of all is that I have been told to just give up.
But here I am, writing this; ever consistent and as driven as I have ever been, maybe even more so. I will not stop or slow down or rest and I will make my legacy the way I feel it needs to be. I am in control of words that people will read when I am no longer around to speak them and my destiny will not be made from small minds that believe their own slighted opinions about the way things are or were.
I have been called many things and I have been told who I seem to be.
It would be easy for me to call them all liars and to refute the words they speak…
But a time or two, I have been called a genius and I have been told my heart is big and that’s why they all must have been telling the truth.
It’s easy to think about the good things and it’s easy to wish and to dream; it’s even easy to move on from a feeling when all it does is hurt you and leave you enraged.
But life is not easy, as I have said before; it’s filled with obstacles and decisions that all have the potential for pain.
You have the choice the same as I, to live your life until you die…you can take a chance where one might not exist, to possibly be hurt or told that that you too are worthless but what if? What if that one time you try and you give everything you’ve got and it just happens to come out right and you wouldn’t have wasted an unmade shot? What if a little happiness was just that easy? After all, the only reason you don’t think it could be that easy is because in your experience it never has been…but if you were to look it up in the dictionary, never does not have the same definition as always…never keeps happening until that one time it doesn’t anymore.
It would be easy to come here and not read the whole thing…
It’s easy to think that I am full of shit.
It’s even easy to keep believing blindly in the things you still believe will never change but it’s just as easy for me to decide stay and wait.
I have been called many bad things and each time I hear them, I wonder just a little bit deeper if they might be right, even just a little bit.
I know who I am and I am fine with it; I love the man I have become. I feel that I have a deeper understanding of things because of the criticism I take but yet, I am constantly trying to grow and try harder, to be better, to find ways to silence my critics, to find love in the places where I have found none and to prove my worth and integrity to some who find it difficult to understand why I would and why it’s important for me to do so.
I have been told that my ideals are worthless.
I have been told that my theories on life are flawed.
I have been scrutinized by my peers for simply not knowing the real truth about things when I believe that open-mindedness begins with understanding what you hate the most about something.
I have been called worthless and stupid.
I have been called silly and insane.
I have been called a liar about things because I am different in the way I think.
I have been told that I just fall short of expectations.
I have been told that I am simply not good enough.
I have also been told that I was too good, which is just another way of saying that I wasn't good enough; it just means that they don't want you-no matter what.
I have been told that the world is not what I see it to be and that my reality is nothing but false.
And possibly what hurts the most of all is that I have been told to just give up.
But here I am, writing this; ever consistent and as driven as I have ever been, maybe even more so. I will not stop or slow down or rest and I will make my legacy the way I feel it needs to be. I am in control of words that people will read when I am no longer around to speak them and my destiny will not be made from small minds that believe their own slighted opinions about the way things are or were.
I have been called many things and I have been told who I seem to be.
It would be easy for me to call them all liars and to refute the words they speak…
But a time or two, I have been called a genius and I have been told my heart is big and that’s why they all must have been telling the truth.
It’s easy to think about the good things and it’s easy to wish and to dream; it’s even easy to move on from a feeling when all it does is hurt you and leave you enraged.
But life is not easy, as I have said before; it’s filled with obstacles and decisions that all have the potential for pain.
You have the choice the same as I, to live your life until you die…you can take a chance where one might not exist, to possibly be hurt or told that that you too are worthless but what if? What if that one time you try and you give everything you’ve got and it just happens to come out right and you wouldn’t have wasted an unmade shot? What if a little happiness was just that easy? After all, the only reason you don’t think it could be that easy is because in your experience it never has been…but if you were to look it up in the dictionary, never does not have the same definition as always…never keeps happening until that one time it doesn’t anymore.
It would be easy to come here and not read the whole thing…
It’s easy to think that I am full of shit.
It’s even easy to keep believing blindly in the things you still believe will never change but it’s just as easy for me to decide stay and wait.
Thank you...I love you all; (+1)
-jason
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