Just Something I felt Like Saying

There isn’t much more to life than you can see;
The trick is to know where to look for it and learning how to see it.

In the past I have been called names by my critics and scrutinized over the content contained in the things I write and in my drawings; and truth be told, I very rarely listen to any of it unless it’s structural.  See, everyone that reads something can think and interpret what they want from it…and the goal is to move someone so much that it affects them in a way that causes them to form some sort of attachment to whatever piece of artwork it happens to be.  Regardless if it’s getting lost in a story or it’s picturing yourself in the artwork, that is the goal…love or hate, it’s what moves you that’s important.  Tell me, before you were with the person you are with or were with, what made you make a move or respond to a move with one of your own?  It’s the same way…you felt something that made you do something you might not have normally done with any ordinary person on the street.

Love makes everything I do move.  Love makes me lay down the lines and the color or scratch some sentences on a page.  Love draws you toward it.  Love keeps you enticed.  Love gives you attachment to it.  Love makes you hate it or not.  Love brings you to respond with a feeling.  Love makes you look again.

I could never even think to do anything I do if I wasn’t honest with myself about what is really behind everything.  I have gone on record to state that I have a God complex because I am as good at what I do as everyone says I am but the truth is, I say that to be funny.  The truth is, that if I didn’t dissect why things happen the way they do, I wouldn’t know myself nearly as well as I do.  It’s called being true to one’s self and I like to think I hold pretty steady to that.  Trust me, I am that good and my ego isn’t nearly as small and humbling as a many great artists and writers I have studied throughout the years but the fact remains that you don’t have to be closed off to the world about where the confidence and ego comes from.

The funny thing is that no matter how many times I define what I do and why I do it, people always forget…or they think it’s changed over time or they might interpret things differently and it confuses them.  I find it difficult and taxing for the most part, to continue to define myself through different words because they don’t change but reading the same thing over and over again just isn’t fun for you, so I take a little bit of that ego and mix it with some inspiration to give you this.  To me, my life is an open book; if you looked for it, it’s all there.  You could look at everything, pictures, words, whatever and learn nearly everything there is about me.  There are people on the other side of the world who have emailed me what they think I am…and they tend to have a better grasp of it than the people who really want to know or so it seems.  I enjoy the fact that people in Germany, Whales, Sudan, Great Britain, Taiwan, Japan and even China have a desire to follow what I do with great regularity. If I was logged into my Google Talk more often, I would constantly have many people with a genuine desire to be part of my life and what I do giving me everything from advice to money to wedding proposals (yes, there have been a few) and it’s nice to think that I have touched someone enough who is so far away that it boggles the mind.  Some of you have shown me something special that spoke to me in ways that are amazing and to all of you, that is why it’s important for me to make the time to be involved or want to be involved with your lives in the same way you wanted to be a part of mine.

It’s important to know that you aren’t alone and if you think I am talking to you, I probably am but you should also realize that I have written this with the intention that many of you believe I am talking to all of you, individually and at the same time.  It’s nice to think that you are special and every single one of you are but those special things I write specifically about and to you, I write directly to you when I can.

There is one person however that I must address here because I have no other choice; to you I say that I am done, I have been done for quite a while but you wouldn’t know that.  Go out of your way to avoid me, after all-I am a horrible person.  Maybe one day you will understand that I have only tried to be a friend when I didn’t need to. If that’s worth staying away to you and being weird, that is fine, no matter what your opinion of me, mine will never change of you.  I know I am a better person for ever having met you and I have to respect the fact that you have no clue who you really are; it’s just too bad that I couldn’t help you find that out.

And to the rest of you, you might think that the above is for someone specific or you might think I just wrote it to make you think or to move you in a certain way.  Like I said before, interpret this any way you like…after all, that’s what it’s here for.

I love you and miss you all-and yes, especially you.

PS: For Everyone; The best way to find the answer to anything is to ask the question; I will always answer any question without bias but if you want to know, that is exactly how to find out.

“Accidentally”

I love it that sometimes things can go completely wrong all of the time.

Contrary to popular belief...I have not been writing anything on this blog for anyone in particular unless I have specifically indicated it or you happen to know something I don't...which is possible, I'm not that smart.

-I love you all very much...and for those of you who know what 'especially you' really means...then, especially you.

“Accidentally”

(2005)

By: Jason Marshall

I could have been great.

I could have done anything

With my life and my time here;

I could have been unstoppable.

I could have been found,

Instead of just being lost.

Simply waiting around.

I could have had purpose.

I could have been everywhere

Or anywhere that I decided to be,

But most of the time I was nowhere.

I could have been somewhere.

I could have been smarter.

I could have done more,

When I didn’t do nearly enough.

I could have been brilliant.

I could have done many great things with my life.

Things that I didn’t do; things that I decided against.

My fate was set in stone that seemed as soft as sand;

The destiny that was before me changed with every glance.

I could have done good but accidentally I did better.

Accidentally, I flew when I should have been simply running.

Accidentally, I gained the knowledge of things before my time.

Accidentally, I felt music when everyone else was just hearing it.

Accidentally, I knew of love more true when others couldn’t see it.

Accidentally, I believed in the world when everyone else was skeptical.

Accidentally, I discovered myself before anybody knew who they weren’t.

Accidentally, I listened to others instead of telling my own story.

Accidentally, love found me when I never should have deserved it.

And accidentally, I found it all over again.

I could have been great; even unstoppable.

It’s just a good thing that accidents happen

Because accidentally I have more

Than I ever could have dreamt for.

 Incidentally, I am not writing this by any accident.

Actually, this is designed to be exactly what it is

Not for self-reflection or gratification; it’s for you.

It just happens to be accidentally defining precisely

How unmistakably, completely significant that all of my

“Happy mistakes” were actually accidentally on purpose.

“these things”

by: jason.

I am not obsessed, I am driven.  I believe in the poetic things life has shown me that brings out the uniqueness in people.  I have a blind faith in all things until it is too late for it not to hurt more than it ever should.  I love love.  I am a romantic; whether you describe it as hopeless or stupid, I am a romantic none the less.  I will do anything for true love, even and especially give it up.  I will always watch cartoons because they bring me a simple peace.  I have done things in life that define my personality but they do not define me as a person.  I know I am not the best at anything except at being me.  I know myself better than anything in the world.  I let people take advantage of me because if you know they are, then they are not. I am most happy with a cup of coffee and a friend to talk to.  I earn money to live and to give, not to collect.  I have realized that there is only one thing worse than not knowing something and that is knowing.  I have witnessed other people blame me for things I have said and done only because they realized that it spotlighted their shortcomings.  I am the most loyal friend to anyone who would have me.  I have found real love at least once and I am sure of it; I also know I have probably found it other times and squandered it.  I am constantly being pulled in so many directions that people end up being hurt but none more than me.  I do things everyday that other people wish they could do.  I don’t do anything that anyone else couldn’t do better.  I have my opinions about everything but I summon fact and first hand experiences rather than offer a far-fetched theory.  I speak in relative terms way too often and it is just as often that it is confused with ‘beating around the bush’.  I have witnessed that people around me have a difficult time believing that someone like me exists; someone that expresses definite(s) that do not alter over time.  I enjoy drawing pictures and creating artwork that brings others joy and hope.  I will not play games that offer the opportunity for no concise winner; I may not win at something but at least I know where I stand.  I have learned that games should never be confused with intimate relationships, love of any kind is not a game; as soon as it looks like a game to me, I will bow out.  I know that it is never too late.  I know you must always say what you need to before it’s too late because too late comes before you could even imagine.  I know nothing is impossible, just improbable.  I know life will always find a way to bring you what you need regardless of the obstacles you put in it’s path.  I know my direction in life.  I know why my direction will never parallel anyone else’s.  I know I will be alone and I am an unhappy person most of the time because of it.  I also know that no matter what I know about my life and the way things will turn out, there is always a chance that something wonderfully unexpected happens that changes everything and that chance is specifically what keeps me going every single day.

These things in our life that we know to be true; everyone has them, few people follow them or will admit them to themselves let alone other people.  I think it’s important to understand how they relate to everyday things instead of just knowing them individually.  See, everyone will take them out of context unless you know me…then when you put them together, these things are without a doubt…me.

You may be going through life right at this moment with heavy things hanging over your head; you may be keeping them all to yourself because it’s just easier to keep going through your life the way you are instead of really understanding how to move on.  You have to keep moving; if you don’t move forward, one day you will wake up to realize you missed the most important adventures life has to offer.  It’s fine to love something or someone; you should-but love grows every single day and if you find that it hasn’t been…you really should figure out why not.  Sometimes it grows in the strangest of ways…and sometimes you may not notice how it grows but that is why you have to look once in a while instead of simply guessing that it has.

I Love you all-thank you for reading.

-me

Happy Valentine's Day!

I wanted to do a large artwork release for Valentine's Day but I suppose it just wasn't in me to do a bunch of artwork like that considering...but I did manage to redo a favorite in High Definition -I hope you like it.

[if it takes me a lifetime to say, a thousand times in a thousand ways; i love you, i need you, i want you in my life; then i promise, i will, forever and everyday.]

I love you all- (especially you)
-jason